finished my crazy marathon last sunday. well at least IMC didnt disappoint me. though i gave up stats. and ms fong was in the venue == when i hand in the paper, she look at me in disbelieve and with her eyes sounds like "what?? so early give up?? dont give up eric"
walao.... i have no choice but to give up it since i need to concentrate on imc and i definitely dont want to fail any of the main paper. 9am paper stats, 9.35 come out. pretty easy actually i think. hmm. after this, gonna resit sorang sorang la... sien zzzzzzzz
on sunday, 21 august 2011, Mic have exam at PA block. 2pm paper. but she can finish at 3.30pm. i was shocked. and was sleeping in library. set my alarm at 4pm. planned to go wash face and meet her at PA block. manatau she 3.30pm called me, i thought it was alarm. was in blur condition for the next 1 hour lol.
then rush go wash face, still with blur face, go out library meet her. then half way met her at behind library. it was baby rain that time. i run out and cover her head. that moment less people walk around library. so i give her instant warm hugs. then just stand there chit chat. i was still, very blur... i was so worried she give up or simply do just to come out early. shocked my ass out of me. then walk towards entrance of library but didn't enter library cause library so many people. so we just sit at the area facing M block and chat there. chat until 5pm.
what do we chat? normal one lo what so couple usually chat... and i confessed to her... how much i love her. how much she meant to me. how much i need her. how important she is to me that i cant afford to lose her. she is part of my life. and i need her badly.
as i spoke those words, i didn't know the tears were formed in my eyes. though i didn't let it to drop, still my voice cracked and my eyes filled with tears. she saw. she knew it. and, its been awhile. like, more than a year i didn't drop a tear for a girl. that means she is darn important to me and i darn love her like there is no tomorrow. perhaps, another kk case?
and slowly, she hold my hand, and put her head to my shoulder... hmm. i just love the feeling. how sweet is that. what else i could ask for.
despite her past, what she was before meeting me, i still choose to love her. i still let myself to get hurt, whether im gonna get hurt or not, its not a matter anymore. i fall for her, and i want her badly. perhaps love is blind? or like i said, "you are not blind. you choose not to see it with your eyes. in fact, you see it with your heart."
double meaning huh? i know right. i felt like at this moment, im the Bella. she is the Edward. or Jacob. i don't know. despite Edward hurt Bella before, she still go back to him knowing how much she suffered after he left him. and, how much Jacob hurt her during the period of time when he transforming into the real wolf, she still forgive him and be with him, until the resurrection of Edward Cullen. i. am. the. girl.
sad but, why i always appear to be the girl one? sigh.
knowing myself gonna fell into the valley, i let myself fall into it. is it because i don't trust her? is it because i got lack security from her? maybe... i just can't accept what she is yet. jealous surrounded me. hmm..
then today, Tuesday, 23 august 2011, morning she come to visit me. cause yesterday she said, she respected the public place, kiss consider as no good. oklo. no choice but to invite her to come my place in the morning. longest kiss? i didn't count the time but i know its darn long.
PROVEN. when i love someone truly, i wouldn't do bad to her. according to the email, i cheat girl. but now? i NEVER think of doing anything above the hugs and kiss level. ok i know its getting pretty obscene here but what im trying to say is. i did not cheat her. NOR i asked her to come my place just to 'eat' her. no i am not. i langsung don't have the intention. i just want to kiss her as much as possible because im crazy over her. and she didn't want to do it in college. i believe that, we are on clean state as couple life. i strongly believe that. and whats not, i didn't think sex is necessary anymore. and i didn't think that kissing 30 minutes is necessary neither. as long i could be with her all the time, hold her hand through the journey, im happy.
and after that, go to library, she go study, i go canteen makan. then back to library study. slept like crap == don't why so damn sleepy and can't stay fresh. damn.
then after she finish her Introduction of Accounting, i go meet her at college hall. walk her to canteen2 before she depart.
after we both home, she suddenly posted this on my wall.
thanks May. i know you use alot of guts to write this. cause i know you are the shy type and thus, i was shocked, surprise, yet im so proud of you. you have made a first step in maintaining this relationship :)
and my quick reply :P
LOL May your heart must be skip few beat when you post this :P
maybe you are right. you really serious with me. you are not play play with me. but, thanks May. i love you.
i still, wondering what your parents think about. i am confident meeting my gf's parents. just like previous experience. i better with elder people. but you just like to admire people with muscular body. 'fei lun hoi thau' and tb. tapi, i felt, no confidence and has nothing special for you to like. nothing for you to admire. confidence level = 0
but when it comes to meeting parents, i have more confident. or shall i say, over confident. sigh. don't know.... don't know...
i miss you baby ...
and.... i got a friend, course mate to be exact, that appear damn innocent and good girl but... she stalk my blog. LOL i was trolled by her because she read my blog and i thought she saw me kissing in library ??? WTH right??? LOL then only she admit she saw my post ==
scare my ass off.
that's all from me today. gonna start study :P
and yea the picture quality sucks i know... but no choice :P
and, i forgot, we are not official couple yet. i know. kiss hugs holding hands but not couple. i know right. but just, we are not couple. i admit, we are not. YET. when is? hahaha. i shall write about it later. real soon :)
~ Light Up The Darkness ~
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