Mysterious symbols unveiled

as the title suggest, the mysterious symbols that you guys can see in my previous post, its actually from CELCOM NETWORK named KOLONY. lame. and had no idea why they used such thing to scare people. they might wanted to create curiosity but i guess they failed cause people are afraid of it. or at least, i meant, not interested and think its silly. the biohazard symbols has 3 circles while the kolony has 5 circles is because of its so-called 'infection' , Ding, Fren, Bomm, Kom, Koinz

i do not know and not interested of what it is and for further information, the deal is only launch friday 8 April 2011 so what i've got here is pretty limited. it has a tagline which is “Get Ready For A New Social Media Outbreak”

well that's all for today i guess. suppose there is another main point but seems like.... i forgotten hahaha.


anyway, i bought 2 books today from popular which is quite costly. first one, "WHY DO KAMIKAZE PILOTS WEAR HELMETS?"
by andrew thompson - rm64.90

second book, Beyond Twilight - Manueka Dunn-Mascetti (RM9.90 promotion NP - RM 15.90)


i have no idea how come i bought second book. i was holding it all the way and i thought my dear bought a book also end up..... i mistaken it was her book . in the end she didnt buy any books and was very upset. i felt so guilty and sorry for her as it was her money also cause i didnt bring enough money as i didnt expect to to be in book store anyway. hmm. gonna pay her back soon. sorry dear ><




~Light Up The Darkness~

The End of The Day Part 2

yes. the second reason im writing this is because, for the past 2 weeks or so..... this symbols have been creating curiousity among people in kuala lumpur. i saw it lots of time in newspaper. and outside pavilion. but didnt bother. if it involved media, i guess its something that approved by government. i HOPE. haha. hope its not the alien invasion thingy. if it is, i would be more than happy. run back to my mom's house. spend the last few moment with my family, and call my dear and tell her " I LOVE YOU FOREVER"

i didn't lie. if its really happen, when i said "I LOVE YOU FOREVER" i really meant it cause the next second i would vanish from the earth. so i kept my promise of living her FOREVER. cause after death, it is when our life journey begin. all our works, acts, will be judge. either good , or , bad...

back to the topic, this is the symbol

compared to this

different is the first one got 5 outer circle while the biohazard symbol only 3 outer circle.

this is not a joke. i got few feed from other famous blogger.


it is around us...

i dont know whether this is photoshopped cause this is looks crazier than seeing a 'batman' logo on the sky.






the one i saw in pavi

and this is the one commonly sighted in the star

is this some kinda secret organization wanna do something? like.... the NEST team in transformer 2... MEN IN BLACK organizations...

i were told that something "BIG" gonna happen on 6th April 2011. its alreayd way passed 12am so it is 6th april now. lets wait and see what will happen. remember to buy newspaper as its the only media we have and can trust in :)

signing off....


~Light Up The Darkness~

The End of The Day

im writing this because, the title above. exactly. got 2 reasons. first of first.

exam. damn stats man. i got whole month to study yet i take it for granted. sigh... wasted.... end up realizing i cant study all and the more i study the more i will forget. so gave up whole chapter 7 Probability Distribution. it happens to be.. lots of marks burned. 25marks AT LEAST. which lead to my 2nd thing i regretted in my life. for sure. as far as i concern.
i've disappointed my parents, intern company (former), lecturer (Ms Fong), friends, and my lover.

it looks like i ruined my own resit. damn it. but already passed. rough calculation, lose 55marks. equally, wait for another resit. sigh... its pain in the arse to talk about it. i knew i hit my limit way far. that is why i decided not to push myself further cause it'll just cause more destruction. i shall not study last minute again. hypothesis testing got 2 questions, 20marks. i did only one. sien. i probably can do the other one but time is just not enough. last time exam, i need another extra 1 hour to complete the paper. of course im not give such time that is why i failed. this time i need another 30 minutes to finish the paper and again, of course i was not granted that. hopefully if i can pass, i can burn the notes away. if i didnt, i wish i can do better next time. sigh....



SECOND REASON

no. not japan nuclear problem. i know i have been following that nuclear news closely lately. i mean not as close as you would thought but 'close' in my own term. this is because i knew chernobyl disaster happened on 26 April 1986. click on this link if you want to read about it http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chernobyl_disaster

nah i know wikipedia sucks but you dont need extreme precise web talk about this. wikipedia is sufficient for you to understand how worse it can be. how hard things be. and how difficult to live, 10 - 20 years later. due to radiation. 1986. 25 years later and the place is still unoccupied. this disaster, perhaps, touch my heart. the condition in the area is.. worse than the situation you could imagined or watched in "I AM LEGEND" cause.... lifeless. really no life. all you see there, is all faded colors of life. there is NO DUST. NO INSECTS. NO BACTERIA. just pure radiation. some experts says the place accessible only 50 years later. but the facts shows maybe another 100-300 years. some say 500 years. well i wish that not gonna happen to japan because chernobyl, back then, has not much safety measurements like what japan has today. and impressingly, japan always increase their safety of the nuclear plants from time to time. meaning once they got new technologies to cover the nuclear plants, they will use it. not like Malaysia. wait 10 years only do. scare this scare that.

the photos taken in Chernobyl is.... a pain for the eyes to see. and worse, its so lifeless that not even insects can stay there. perhaps, the only place on earth without COCKROACHES.
whats even worse is, the paint there, wall, floor, furnitures, electrical equipments and all the other daily household.... all left to.... fade... i cant explain here. no choice but to attached few photos here. a picture spoke thousand words.

nothing left. worse than haunted city or dead city.

no life at all. not even planktons could survive the disaster. the amount of radioactive is... way too much for a single cell to live. whats left is only those green plants, very rare, and limited species, that NOT survived the blast, but have been mutated. of course, plants cant become zombies. dont get addicted to PLANT vs ZOMBIES pls ==

this is what i meant by 'left to fade' not even dust
could you imagine what was this place before the disaster?

12.40am 4 April 2011

time is running out. yet cant stop myself from writing blog after seeing one of the blogger was so semangat write blog. hmm. back to tbr. 12.40am. meaning i got exactly 24 hours to study 4 more chapters. and... i cant understand shit about standard deviation. out of so many topics, it must be this one. im sure i skipped the lecture for this one cause my notes empty and so clean. hmm. sien..... emo time....

suddenly felt my life is so empty when listening to yiruma - looking back.
does this song means i am looking back to my past? that is why i cant go forward and felt my life is empty? as far as i concern, my past, i guess is just different from now. only i can see the difference. only i know the difference. because it was me that live in this life.

or the "looking back" means something else? look back to your past to see your mistakes. and learn from it. in order for you to proceed and gain success in life.

well its all nonsense now because it is COMMON SENSE. duuh.. come on dude. we always heard this phrase everywhere we go. a common advice from our friends or someone from our surrounding. but how many of us really take the words into account? how many of us really do it?

you name it. i really want to write. but... got annoyed by some guy opposite my room keep coughing since 2 weeks ago?? im not sure. hope he get well soon cause its really annoying especially at night. im sorry but i am mean. ok. its time to go. else. sigh. i memang no mood study. what to do. damn hot. but still have to shoo my ass to notes. good luck to me and everyone that gonna sit for their exams or resit. all the best guys.

signing off. hopefully tomorrow i wont stay online all the time cause tomorrow ius last day preparation before exam cause my paper was on tuesday morning 9am paper. i really dont wish to fail again. love you God.

~Light Up The Darkness~

a new environment gonna starts soon

after seeing one of my friend whom i followed closely on his blog, i realize i should update more frequent although its just a shit i will write. hahaha LOLZ

well gonna start study for resit stats == i shall not see stats anymore. not the same paper. now see the notes also boring jor. same thing ==

found out cant study at tbr. weather too hot and got computer lagi cannot study. dont know at mom there can study or not. but dont care. take the risk. bow just woke up by sook yee ==

now gonna da bao and eat. then off to my mom house. yeah

siapakah ibu kamu

Seumur hidup, aku tak pernah cakap "Saya rindu ibu" atau ayat-ayat yang sewaktu dengannya jadi dia mungkin ingat aku ni jenis anak yang tak suka tunjukkan perasaan.

Mungkin bagi orang dewasa, aku budak yang macam tu. Jarang bercakap dan jarang tunjuk emosi. Membesar dengan senyap dan hidup dengan biasa-biasa je. Biasanya aku pendam je perasaan aku. Selalu tunjuk muka tak peduli, berdiri satu sudut dan pandang sekeliling.

Adakalanya ibu menangis bila tengok drama sedih. Masa tu aku akan gelakkan dia. Ibu cuma mengeluh je bila aku buat camtu. "Budak ni..." Orang kata, "Anak lelaki memang tak rapat dengan mak."

Seingat aku, aku memang jarang berada kat sisi ibu. Aku jarang berborak dengan dia atau dengar masalah dia. Malah aku buat endah tak endah je bila dia beritahu aku dia tak berapa sihat.

Bila dia beritahu keadaannya mungkin akan bertambah buruk.

Pada tahun tu, ibu menderita kerana penyakit kanser. Aku berada di dalam darjah 5, sekolah rendah. Aku tak tahu apa itu kanser.

Aku melawat dia sekali je kat hospital - hari sebelum pembedahan dia. Dia duduk kat katil - buat pertama kali, aku nampak keadaan ibu begitu lemah dan sakit. Bila dia pusing, dia nampak aku. Dengan cepat aku lari pada dia dan peluk dia kuat-kuat.

Sepanjang masa tu, aku tak tahu betapa menderitanya ibu dan aku tak tahu betapa dia menangis kerana aku. Kerana anak yang dingin dan tak sensitif macam aku ni.

Lepas beberapa bulan bertarung dengan penyakitnya, ibu memenangi perlawanan itu. Ibu pulang ke rumah. Pulang pada aku.

Ramai orang kata, anak adalah seperti anak burung. Bila sayap mereka sudah cukup kuat, mereka akan terbang meninggalkan rumah.

Dulu aku benci bila ibu tanya tentang keadaan aku sebab aku rasa aku dah cukup besar untuk jaga diri sendiri. Aku tak perlu dengar lagi nasihat dan pendapat dia. Aku selalu bergaduh dengan dia, menyebabkan ibu selalu bersedih sebab aku rasa pandangan ibu tu salah. Aku rasa ibu sangat ketinggalan zaman. Masa tu aku rasa aku dah cukup matang.

Beberapa tahun lepas, aku tinggalkan rumah, tinggalkan ibu. Aku cuba berdikari, mulakan hidup baru.

Setiap malam lepas balik kerja, bila aku balik ke bilik sewa aku, aku rasa kosong dan sunyi. Takde orang nak sambut aku. Seorang diri aku masak, makan, menulis dan adakalanya bercakap dengan diri sendiri.

Aku selalu ingat masa aku duduk dengan keluarga dulu. Setiap hari lepas sekolah, makanan dah tersedia kat ruang makan. Ibu pasti menanti aku di pintu. Bila aku kejar deadline untuk komik, aku akan lari pulang ke rumah dari perpustakaan dengan manuskrip kat tangan. Dengan penuh semangat aku tanya ibu, "Cuba teka berapa muka surat saya siapkan hari ni?" Ibu adalah sumber motivasi aku. Aku nak dia bangga dengan aku, jadi aku sentiasa berusaha untuk menjadi lebih baik.

Pada malam musim sejuk, bla suhu menjadi semakin dingin, ibu akan sediakan selimut dan tilam tebal untuk aku. Lepas aku tinggalkan rumah, setiap kali aku sakit, aku mesti teringat ibu. Sebab setiap kali aku sakit masa aku kecik dulu, ibu pasti berada kat sisi aku. Hilang rasa bimbang aku bila nampak dia.

Aku sentiasa ingat zaman kecil aku. Ibu bagaikan payung yang besar. Dia akan lindungi aku dari hujan panas. Setiap kali aku buat masalah, aku akan sorok di belakang ibu. Aku akan tarik bajunya dan dia akan selesaikan masalah tu untuk aku. Bila aku dewasa, setiap kali aku berdepan dengan masalah, aku masih terus memikirkan dia. Dalam hati, aku akan bertanya, "Ibu, apa patut aku buat?" "Ibu, tolong saya!"

Tapi hal ni takde orang yang tahu kecuali aku.

Banyak kali aku nak telefon dia tapi aku beritahu diri sendiri, tabahlah!

Sejak kecik lagi, aku jenis yang tak mudah menangis. Aku tak nak orang tau kesedihan dan kepedihan yang aku rasa. Walaupun aku rindu seseorang... orang yang aku sayang... aku pendam perasaan aku termasuk rasa kasih aku pada ibu.. Sebab tu ramai orang anggap aku anak yang dingin dan tak sensitif.

Ibu, sebenarnya saya silap.

Saya sangka dengan berpura-pura tak peduli dan dengan memendam emosi yang saya rasakan, saya dapat sorokkan kelemahan dan menjadi lebih kuat.

Ibu, saya sebenarnya tak kuat langsung.

Tak siapa tahu bila aku tengok cerita sedih kat TV, aku sorok dalam bilik air dan menangis lepas tu. Tak siapa tahu berhari-hari aku meratapi kematian burung, anak anjing dan anak kucing yang pernah aku bela.

Tak siapa tahu pada malam aku tinggalkan rumah, aku menangis dalam tren. Bila aku ingat je pada ibu, air mata aku mengalir tanpa dapat ditahan. Aku menangis sebab aku akan tinggalkan ibu, dan bila tren tu bawa aku semakin jauh darinya. Aku menangis bersungai-sungai. Aku tak sanggup bayangkan kesunyian yang ibu rasa sepanjang 7 tahun aku tinggalkan rumah. Aku tak sanggup bayangkan wajah sedih ibu sebab aku tahu, air mata aku akan mengalir lagi.

Jadi pada hari aku bertolak, aku tak benarkan dia hantar aku ke stesen.

Ibu, walaupun saya seorang lelaki, saya juga sebenarnya seorang yang sensitif dan penuh emosi. Maaf sebab saya tak pernah tunjukkan pada ibu.

Ibu kawan baik aku, Z, meninggal dunia dua tahun lepas.

Di majlis pengebumian tu, aku tak dapat menahan diri dari menangis. Aku nampak Z asyik pandang langit supaya air mata yang bergenang di kelopak matanya takkan mengalir. Dari belakang dia nampak tabah tapi sebenarnya dia paksa diri untuk jadi kuat. Di bawah langit musim sejuk yang cerah tu, dia nampak keseorangan.

Lagi seorang kawan baik aku, H pun kehilangan ibunya tak lama dulu. Ibunya ceria dan ramah tinggalkan kami begitu saja. Begitu tiba-tiba. Tanpa amaran, tanpa sebarang tanda. Buat kami rasa sedih dan menyesal.

Ketika itulah aku sedar, kami membesar dengan begitu cepat. Seseorang pernah kata, bila kita dewasa, ketika itulah ramai orang akan tinggalkan kita. Jadi di akhirnya, kita semua akan keseorangan. Sama seperti keadaan kita masa lahir dulu.

Hidup kita berpusing macam roda - kita terpaksa lepaskan banyak benda. Tidak semua benda dapat kita bawa sekali semasa roda berpusing laju. Mungkin apa yang boleh kita pegang hanyalah masa sekarang. Saat ini.

Sekurang-kurangnya pada detik ini, kita rasa gembira. Sekurang-kurangnya pada detik ini, kita dapat mengecapi kebahagiaan.

Kita mesti cukup berani untuk mencintai dan dicintai. Jadi kita takkan hidup dalam penyesalan.

Ibu, akhirnya saya faham maksud "kuat" yang sebenar. Erti kekuatan ialah memiliki keberanian untuk menunjukkan perasaan kita yang sebenar. Erti kekuatan ialah memiliki kebolehan untuk menyayangi orang yang kita sayangi.

Ibu, ibu adalah yang paling kuat. Demi membesarkan saya, ibu sanggup berkorban apa saja.

Demi saya, ibu tanggung sejuta kerisauan.

Kasih ibu, sampai bila-bila pun saya dapat rasa. Dari kecil hinggalah kini.

Ibu, saya akan menjadi seorang yang kuat dan berani. Dan kini saya akan luahkan apa yang terpendam dalam hati saya selama ini.

"Ibu, saya rindu ibu."
"Ibu, saya sayang ibu."
"Ibu, ibu adalah insan yang paling saya kasihi dalam dunia ini."

half a year gone without updates

yeah again im talking about my blog. LOLZ

ok. before i start writing anything, wanna emphasize on something with is my nightmare of internship. i had this internship with Street Directory (M) Sdn Bhd.
unfortunately, not to talk bad anyone, im just not suitable to work there. they need marketing intern. while im fully pr. not to say im choosy or what but they cant provide me sufficient pr for my studies and, internship report. well they asked me to relate theoretical framework into our weekly report and final report. but i just cant cause it does not reflect pr at all and if i were to do so, thats lying which against my principle. to cut a long story short, i terminated the internship there and here i am filling my life with something. well, i had no life since first day with the company. 8-9pm only finish work. no life at all man. what we did or what happened during my one month stint there, i rather forget about it though it had deep scar in my mind.

many people convince me not to terminate cause if i do, i gotta repeat. some people think repeat the same internship next year, bla bla bla. to clear the confusion here,PLEASE READ CAREFULLY AND I HOPE NO MORE CONFUSION AFTER THIS EXPLANATION cause im tired of explaining same shit over and over again.

ok, i terminated internship, i STILL can proceed to SECOND YEAR with everyone else. but next year feb-april, i gotta repeat 2 subjects, integrated marketing communication and Interpersonal and Professional Communication. this 2 subjects carried 8 credit hour, which equivalent to INDUSTRIAL ATTACHMENT (internship la) 8 credit hour. meaning, you people punya internship value 8 credit hour!! so i need to repeat that 2 subject to replace the 8 credit hours from my internship. why REPEAT? cause now in college is week5, i cant enter college continue study.and also, since i terminated means, i FAILED this full-coursework-subject. therefore, REPEAT lo.

also, repeating means, i cant fly to liverpool with the rest of you guys. WHY?
usually april examination, result release in may right? but this 2 subjects result will release in september. meaning, 2012 february i take this 2 subjects, september 2012 only got result. by the year 2012 june, you all fly to liverpool jor. september 2012, my result release, but you all come back malaysia jor. so i have to wait 2013 de batch to fly to liverpool. i fully conscious about the consequences and i bear all the responsibility of repeating without influence of any party.

i know, after you guys fly to liverpool , im all alone here wait one year to fly. sien. but, be adventurous. if i were still in that company, i will not have my life back. working from 9.30am-9.30pm. sometimes 8pm. earliest 7pm. only after i make a fuss about it, we can leave at 6.30pm. as far as i concern, only twice we go back at 6.30pm. i know, interns are cheap labor. fully utilize them. chinese say " sai chun hui"

i know all these. seriously, if this is event or pr company, i dont mind being overuse but.... asking us to do something not about pr is just bullshit to me. i mean, i want pr, you give me pr, i give you what you want. enough with the internship thingy. i hope i clear all your confusion now. sorry for writing so long cause i hope in this few paragraph, sufficient to answer you 5W1H LOLZ too much pr jor :P

anyway, 8 months with my baby jor. love her more each day. still i owe her valentine celebration cause both having internship so quite busy. well its ok gotta replace asap. in a meanwhile, i gotta comtinue what i want to do. manga!!! LOLZ. signing off man. peace.

~Light Up The Darkness~