your lost in my heart seems to give me a very big impact. i thought i succeed but i didn't. your existed in my life bring joy and happiness in my world although i know you are hard to control. and tend to neglect me even how good i treat you. but that doesn't stop me. because i love you so much.
why. why must this happen to me. why me?? your lost make me feel i am such a useless. i can't even take good care of you.i feel so disappointed with myself. and i have no guts to have you again. maybe some time in the future but definitely not now. until the day i wake up from this nightmare that you gave me.
i'm really sorry for causing our separation but please believe me i never meant so. i really want to be with you as long i can and before you exhale your last breath. why. why would you do this to me. i had totally lost my confident in having you again. but baby, i really hope to be with you again. i really miss you a lot. losing you is a big shock to me which i can't accept until now. i really miss you baby. please, give me the guts to meet you again. i may seems happy but i'm not. deep into my heart, i am crying everytime i think about you. i couldn't believe same thing happened to me, again. this time, both. the first time, i promise him that i will not, never, cause any separation in the future. but... i failed...
6 oct you left me. just because she left you, i really mad at you. i thought you were the one who caused her to left you, and me. i really hate you that time so much. but i never want you to left me also. one day after she left us. yes i am very angry about you because you didn't appreciate my serve and you betray her by imitating with other feminine. why. why you left me eventually. i really can't accept it. i told everyone its your fault. but soon after you left, i realize it was actually my fault.
my fault not treating you the best i could.
my fault for treating you the same as other.
my fault for not being understanding to you.
my fault for misunderstood you.
my fault for being too careless to you.
baby, darling, please forgive me. i really sorry for the lost of you both. believe me, i still sad about your death.
jay died
jolin struggling to survive
may you both rest in peace. sorry i didn't take good care of you. until i caused you both's death. may God bless you both. have a wonderful next life. and do remember help me take care of others babies too. hope to see you both soon.
yes. one is jay the other is jolin. i thought they both could live happily together til old. but i never know the rain comes during a heaty day. i really love you guys a lot. its my dream to have you guys. but sorry i could hold on to my promise. sorry. first you bit her to death right in front of my very own eyes. i can't believe you. i really hate you to the root that time. you even bit me when i wanted to punish you.
soon after your death, i realized that maybe you just want to lighten the burden of jolin that is why you don't want to see her suffering and make a very hard decision of bitting her. sorry i misunderstood you about that. thanks to jolin because after her death, she come into my mind and communicate with my heart through her souls. she told me its not your fault. you just trying to lighten her suffering because you love her too much that you don't want her to struggle anymore.
perhaps its my mistake that caused this. to be honest, the day before, one of you came out and ate dust. i don't know you really ate it or not. because i really don't know which one is you. but most of them believe that both of your death is caused by food poisoning. they said you both not use to the food i gave you. qq, fen fen, fui fui,hung hung may consume it as usual. perhaps their body stronger.
sorry i didn't alert enough. i also forgotten that cabbage is not consumable anymore. cause it keep too long in a fridge. i'm sorry. but sorry can't cure. hopefully i can meet you both some time in the future. sorry jay. sorry jolin. i don't mean to hurt you both. enjoy your next time. please forgive me.
