I was waken up by my sai sAi lap from several calls she made me. Today i broke de first plate in my career. It also broke my clean record. Which also broke my future in this long term career. Eventually, de day has come where i shall fall. As i stood there staring de broken plate, my heart goes broken too. Frustrated by my mistakes n overhaul by my past, who am i today? Y i cant get rid of de past?
Today, both of my frens came into my barrack. Thats wat i call my battle field. Both of them used to be my closest frens back then. But de moment they step into de shop, i become so numb. Feelingless. Neither i shall neo wat reaction i should giv. Its like de flashback of history back then. I should be happy as its like a reunion some sorta thing. But i aint feel so.
Eventually i found out I've been superior. I lost my own identity n i lost my self esteem de moment my base been intruded. I lost my very own battle without even walk a step further. I used to tell my frens not to giv up without a good fight. But today i brought lost to my army. I've lost de battle without even sending any soldier for it. Do i been overhaul by my past? Or it jus de hatred deep inside my heart that unforgiven? I really dono. Felt such a loser. Frustrated by myself.
