what is going on now?

did i di wrong? why people just can't accept me. my attitude. i just being myself. wrong? my friendster, blog, non of you all come here. do you have to hate me this much. when you need my help, seek me you did. when doesn't need one, just ignore as if i wasn't exist. even though when need my help, if i can't help, outta my limit, you hate me. this is frineds. friends. thanks a lot DPR1 january 2008 intake. i learn a lot from you. your faces when talking to me. i believe if i stop doing what i shouldn't, you won't even turn your face to me anymore.

they scold me disallowing what i am doing. but i keep on doing it because of you. because i love you. but this is wht i gt. thanks a lot. i learn it. those who can't help you, ignore them. if they can help, its call friends. perhaps i shoule disappear from you. everyone happy. no more this freak guy with you. anoying you.

getting less of you. getting hate from you. i feel like want to shout out loud. you used to be close with me. but now i just like an eyesore to you. sorry if i disturb you with my apperance.
my friends? which one you talking about? true or with masks? yeah i got a lot of frineds, with masks. true? can be count with your fingers dude. i wish, could leave here, and go to somewhere, where people do not know me, will not care me. let me be myself. be what i want. happy ever after. but if i were to go this place, i would like to go with dear. i don't know why, different things happened to both of us, but i feel the same as you did. and both of our destiny is same now. we used to be quarrelling. misunderstanding. hatred is here. there. everywhere. but...

now i need you most. i wish you could be here. i know i can't accompany you anymore. that is why i sent you the ultraman. so that you can be with him, when i am not with you. but one thing, i always with you, close to you, deep nto our heart. i wish, the world is wonderful as we dream.

dear, now i realize, how much they hurt me. the efforts i put in, worth nothing.
dear, sorry for all the past. i still love you, as before, seek me if you need me. causei'll ne waiting for you. when this all happened to me, the only person i want to turn to is you dear. would you be with me? more than a friend, is what i really need. i know. i know that you can't accept me now. nor anyone. i do know. but i still will waits. i hardly love back the one i left, you are one of very few. very few. not even more than one. perhaps, second. i do not know. it is almost impossible (99%) for me to love back the one i left. and the 1% is you. i do not know how long would i have to wait. but i will. because i love you. love you. love you.

regrets?? no use.


you are the one that made me fall in love.
you are the one that make me love you this deep.

you are, also, the one hurt me most.
you are, also, the one that made me protect myself from the word 'love'.


this is what you wrote. i know. i know. what else can i do other than being sorry. crying. kneeling down, apologies.

baby, i need you more than anyone. i wish, i could turn to you when i need you most. when i most down. i wish, you were next to me, when all this happen to me.


i miss your smile.
i miss your hand when holding me.
i miss you hug when i need your warmness.
i miss your face when i first woke up from sleep.

loving you again is my choice. and now you are so far from me. i did not know where to find you. how to find you. nor when can see you do i know. but i really love you dear. i am tired. tired. tired... this is very tiring me.