my feelings ~

Friday, January 25, 2008

study group turn out to be chatting group

Deng... again wanna go library study but it ends up with chatting. we chatted a lot. about sex is the most funniest one. we talk about where to go during Chinese new year...



things plan too fast before it tend to happen. i afraid we might comes to some obstacles. hope it'll be OK la. we plan to "pai nin" at belle's house first then mine. then kk's house and then NG's house. then go seremban to Calvin's house then to Mei Ki's house. then to Malacca cha pei's house before going to belle's hometown at johor. maybe only la.



but its all plan right now. i was worrying more about our assignment. i wish to finish it asap. but....

i wanted to study. that is what i plan at first. but once i reached there, i can't concentrate study. i even didn't finished reading the newspaper. but i know arsenal lose to tottenham. yeah...



why i can't concentrate?? because... i like to observe my dear from close. yeah she late today for class then replace on second class. ha ha... every time when she come close to me, i will stare at her cheek and wanted to kiss her. but i didn't. i always ask her permission before doing anything on her. because i respect her. today don't know how, but somehow, she gave me the special 'gift' again. i was so shocked. i felt the warmness in her when she get close to me although we are in a very cold place. thanks dear for everything.



i know that you have develop your feelings to me day by day. in fact it increase daily. me too dear.. i also comes to realize your worries. you afraid i will not treat you the same way i treat you now, if we officially become couple right? yeah that is what every girls worry about. its normal dear.

i can't force you or say anything right now. but only time will proof my love to you dear. only time will show to you how much i love you.
it was my first time to take such video like that. it was sooooo sweet dear... thanks...
i can tell that, from the moment i decided to be with you, I've already developed my feelings toward you, to the level which equally to very high. and it maintain daily. without failed..

happy ma dear? or shall i put it in this way?

my feelings to you grow everyday just like the flowers at garden. they need water that you pour with your love. as plowers need fertilizers, you kept them look healthy by providing the optimum amount needed, from your kind heart. the warmness you had, prepare those flowers keep blossom even during winter. imagine. how sweet and memorable is it to watch flowers blossom during winter time with you in our own-made garden. we were sitting on a pair of chairs made from wonder woods from California, with your favourite white coffee originate from ipoh and my favourite cappuccino ice blended on a wooden table. we sat near the window facing our garden and it was a wonderful evening for us. holding hands, looking at the flowers blossom, at that moment, it recalled me of the same winter somewhere 30years ago. where it was when we confess to each other. it was when our love blossom just like how the flowers blossomed. even though we face many obstacles, just like how difficult those flowers struggling to survive during winter, we manage to overcome all these barriers between us and built up a warm family, as warm as we felt from the burning woods during winter. the snows fall... the sun set. and i look deep into your attractive brownish eyes saying "sweet heart, the eyes that I'm looking now is the same attractive brownish eyes that i stare at, 30years ago. lets go for dinner. our children is waiting for us."
and it is when you pull my hand and said "dear, thank you for all these years. i can never find this anywhere, whosoever. i know that the garden is actually represent your heart you built for me 30years ago. you told everyone how important am i and how heavy my duty is to keep these flowers blossom even during winter. but i came to realized that, it is impossible for me to do all these without you, keeping the garden from insects, thieves, wild animals, and natural disasters."
the tears flow from your eyes pool. which touch deep inside my heart. i hold your hand, and put it on my chest saying, "can you feel that my heart pour it's tears for you? my heart never stop beating, just like the love in us never end. because they beat for you."
"remember why our children always asked us the same question during this time? they are still far too young to understand this. in their eyes, its only an empty garden fills with wild grass. but in our eyes , it always glorious because the love we share all these years. i love you sweet heart. just like the way i do, 30years ago."
and you answered, "the moment i followed you back to this wooden house, it already represent i will follow you the rest of my life. mo matter where you go. the efforts i put to keep our garden alive shown how much i love you dear."

somehow later, we breath our last breath together, holding hand, sitting on our chairs looking at the beautiful skies. there was a shooting star named Lover that comes only once in three decades. i make a wish. that wish is to live with you forever. and it comes true, for once and all.
you told me you made a wish too.what is that wish sweet heart? you said,
"to be with you til my last breath. and it comes true too =)"

and there goes our souls. return to where we belongs.

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